JillyBean (midnight_raven) wrote,
JillyBean
midnight_raven

  • Mood:

yawn

a 16 hour day at work. i am not even half way through, but im already really kinda totally done. im tired and my body didn't sleep enough last night and im hungry and tired. getting bored, but thank goodness i brought my real-life journal and desolation angels with me.
i have updated my to-read list.
played too much kingdom of loathing.
i have a list of ohio adventures to have.
and i have now made a step towards a post at live journal. hooray!

ive come to a standstill in life. i want to explore the united states and move out of this city to another (somewhere west) and while talking to the boytoy about this he stated he wants to stick around east because of his mother's health, and i completely understand. i want to be around in case anything happens to my family as well. but this makes me question whether i should look into buying a house and save money for vacations until the time comes that i can leave this side of the country, or if that is just going to procrastinate things more. like- there is his mother. but after his mother there is his brother, and his sister, and his nephews and nieces. should i just go and hope he will want to come with? should i wait and hope that later on in life timing will be better?

unsure.

i just want to explore the world around me. its just a question of whether that would be easier if i was planted here taking vacations or if i was elsewhere discovering the area around me. dogs are another thing. its like- i could have a plane ticket for a family emergency but who would watch the puppies while we are gone.

sometimes i wish i could just sit back and enjoy the roses before i cut them down, make them smelly, and destroy my garden
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